Affairs and Infidelity

In general, about 22% of men and 15% of women admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives. Of these, 56% of men and 34% of women said they were happy in their marriage.

Not many things are as detrimental to marriage as an affair, and moving past the devastation can be very hard for both partners. On one hand, there’s the offending partner who carries strong shame and regret, and likely promises it won’t happen again. Though probably sincere, when dealing with sex addiction, sobriety is easier said than done. In fact, up to 56% of men who have affairs are happy in their marriage, showing the nature of this compulsive behavior. On the other side of things is the hurt partner who will have a hard time moving forward and believing what they see as empty promises, and could be dealing with deep-rooted issues themselves.

When healing from sexual addiction and infidelity, the path ahead can seem perilous. We are here to help you channel a path of faith, safety, and healing through Christ.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3: 5-6

Sexual addiction affects each person differently, and the same is true for affairs and infidelity recovery. At Spokane Christian Counseling, we offer you a safe place to share your story so that we can work towards a plan for recovery that works for you. We have faith in the limitless promises and long-lasting patience of Jesus and the grace He gives for healing and restoration. Even your pain and weaknesses can be a tool of God for shaping you into a stronger, more Christ-filled version of yourself. With faith in Christ as the cornerstone for healing along with evidence-based counseling methods, your relationship can find real transformation and growth.

The work of doing this includes:

• Accountability – The involved partner must hold themselves responsible for their actions while empathizing with the devastation it caused their spouse.
• Willingness to start anew – This can be the hardest part, but for true healing, the betrayed spouse must risk future hurt by doing their best to work towards a new start. In time, this gets easier as the involved spouse works diligently to restore trust.
• Ask and answer questions – The involved spouse must be willing to answer questions pertaining to the affair during counseling. The betrayed will learn how to ask healthy questions rather than using harsh accusations and other damaging language.
• Set realistic expectations – On the part of the betrayed partner, this means understanding that healing sex addiction is a process, not very different from chemical dependency, and is a real illness. It helps to realize that there is a bigger picture in which your spouse is repentant and doing his or her best to do right can help you find peace. On the other hand, the involved spouse needs to evaluate his or her unhealthy expectations of marriage sex.
• Forgiveness – Through Christ, we can find hope for a full recovery through faith, better understanding and new perspectives, healing, and finally forgiveness.

Sexual addiction and infidelity recovery can be a long and bumpy road, but healing is possible. We hope that you will partner with us and Christ so that you can experience the same power and grace that we’ve seen many couples discover through Christian counseling.

If your marriage has suffered because of an affair, we are here to help. Contact us to learn more.

If you’re ready to start Christian couples counseling for sexual addiction and infidelity recovery, give us a call at (509) 209-8961 or contact us online to schedule your risk-free appointment.