Most Common Marriage Problems: What to Do

If you are facing marriage trials, you are not alone. Marriage is difficult, and too many people think their problems are unsolvable. But separation and divorce are often not the best answer. Many marriage problems can be solved with outside assistance. You can get help for your marriage trials through Christian marriage counseling.

God’s Plan for Marriage

Marriage was instituted by God in the Garden of Eden, before sin ever entered the world. Adam and Eve were the first married couple, joined together by God. He created them for one another’s benefit. They were to enjoy God and one another in perfect harmony.

However, when sin entered the world, marriage was changed forever. Adam and Eve viewed each other differently, blaming one another for their problems. It’s been the same for many couples ever since then.

There is hope for all married couples because God loves marriage. He can help you overcome your marriage trials and succeed as a couple. As you experience healing and spiritual growth, you can follow God’s plan for your marriage.

Most Common Marriage Problems

So many of us start out thinking that marriage will solve all our problems. In the bliss of falling in love, it’s easy to overlook potential issues or personality clashes. However, since we are all imperfect human beings, none of us can have a perfect marriage. Researchers know that the “in love” feeling only lasts up to two years, after which the hard work begins.

Marriage is probably the best tool for revealing selfishness. When you are in close contact with your spouse, your flaws will inevitably appear and create conflict. As you learn to identify your areas of selfishness and deal with your conflict triggers, your marriage problems can improve.

These are common marriage problems that affect many marriages. If you have these types of marital problems, you can receive help from a Christian counselor. At Spokane Christian Counseling, we have dealt with the full range common marriage problems, and we can offer guidance for you.

Communication Breakdown This may be the most common complaint we hear from our clients, particularly from wives. Many wives wish their husbands were more communicative. A wife may resort to nagging or complaining when she doesn’t get the results she wants from her husband. In turn, he may feel badgered or confused and shut down in frustration. This sets up an unhealthy cycle that further breaks down communication every time it is repeated.

To be released from this toxic cycle, you may need help from a professional. We understand the differences between communication styles and can teach you how to interpret your spouse’s communication needs. With practice, your communication and understanding will improve, and you will be happier together with a better plan.

Personality Differences

You have probably heard that opposites attract. When you fell in love with your spouse, the differences may have seemed exciting or fascinating. But marriage tends to take the shine off of our differences. What you found charming about your spouse before may be their most annoying trait now.

Too many couples let simple personality differences become perennial topics of contention. We can help you understand one another to view each other’s differences as strengths. With our help, you can address the differences that need improvement and let go of the differences that aren’t as important.

Sexual Issues

It’s very common for a husband and wife to have different sexual needs at different periods of their marriage. Women are affected by hormonal changes and childbirth, which can lower sexual desire. Men can also be affected by changes in libido or performance. Any sexual abuse that occurred in either partner’s past can have a bearing on the couple’s sexual relationship. If infidelity occurs, it can rock a marriage to its core.

Sex is a gift from God that is intended to bind a husband and wife together. If you are having sexual issues, it’s important to address them instead of keeping them hidden. They can eat away at the fabric of your marriage until you feel more like business partners than a loving couple. A counselor can help you understand each other’s needs and offer suggestions on how to restore your sexual relationship.

Work Issues

Some spouses work to excess, creating the potential for loneliness and frustration in their spouses. Others are not motivated to work, which can cause a financial strain. These extremes can strain a marriage to its breaking point.

Your counselor can help you set proper boundaries around your work to protect your marriage. If you have a workaholic spouse, a counselor can coach you on drawing boundary lines and practicing self-care. If your spouse is not motivated to work, your counselor can help you express your expectations and the consequences of not working.

Money Disagreements

Money itself is neutral, but it has sparked many a marriage conflict. Our concepts of money and spending are formed in childhood and affected by our personality traits. Normally, problems can result when we marry someone who differs from us in their attitude toward money.

Too many couples call it quits over money issues. However, many of their problems can be resolved through counseling. Money is normally an indicator of deeper issues like insecurity, pride, or fear, just to name a few. We can help you deal with the underlying factors so that money no longer drives the arguments in your marriage.

Disagreements about Parenting

Children are a wonderful blessing, but moms and dads can disagree about how they should be parented. Your children can sense when you aren’t on the same page, and they may try to use this against you. This can cause chaos in your home, which takes a toll on your marriage.

If parenting disagreements are damaging your marriage, it’s important to seek marriage help right away. Your counselor can assist you in getting on the same parenting page, so you present a unified front to your children. As you work to establish boundaries and follow through with consequences, peace will settle over your home and in your marriage.

Interference from In-laws or Other Family Members

The Bible tells us that when a man and woman unite as one, they leave their families and cleave to one another. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. When a husband or wife fails to leave and cleave, many problems can arise. Sometimes they threaten to destroy a marriage.

It’s often difficult to deal with in-law or extended family issues because you are too close to the problem. A Christian counselor can offer you an objective perspective. Both husband and wife will likely need to make changes and adjust expectations to resolve these types of problems. The reward for your hard work is a happier marriage.

Addictions

Many American households are being torn apart by addiction, and this means many marriages are strained under the pressure. Whether your marriage is affected by addiction to alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, or anything else, there is hope and help available to you. Since these problems are so deeply rooted, it’s wise to get help from a qualified counselor.

Your counselor can help you untangle the complicated relationship problems that are attached to addictions. We will deal with the deeper issues that are behind every addiction and help the addicted spouse become free. Don’t hesitate to seek help if your spouse is struggling with an addiction.

Relationship Help for Your Marriage

If you are experiencing any of these common marriage problems, your marriage is not doomed to failure. You can receive the perspective, encouragement, and practical help you need from a caring counselor at Spokane Christian Counseling. There is no shame in reaching out for help with your marriage problems. Contact us today to set up an appointment to discuss your particular situation. Christian marriage help is available for you.