6 Key Signs of Anger Issues and What to Do About It

It’s not easy being an emotional being. We feel life would go more smoothly if we could dispassionately consider everything and make decisions purely based on logic and what works. Certainly, we could always put more thought into our actions and consider things carefully before making life-altering decisions. If we were beings of pure logic like Mr. Spock from the futuristic imaginings of Star Trek, we’d make good decisions, we think.

However, we and our world are more complex than that, and that’s probably a good thing. The French mathematician, inventor, and philosopher Blaise Pascal once wrote, “The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of…We know the truth not only by reason but by the heart.”

We can see not only the truth and goodness of things, but we can see their beauty as well. Our emotional capacity provides us with an extra dimension through which to see and appreciate our world.

The necessity and beauty of anger

One of our many emotional responses is anger. Anger has something of a bad reputation, and to be fair that is not entirely unwarranted. We all have experienced anger and found ourselves doing things we would never otherwise do. Or we may have experienced the raw end of someone else’s anger and find ourselves withering under its onslaught.

The thing we need to understand from all of this is that anger itself is not necessarily the problem. However, certain expressions of it are unhealthy and it is right for us to shrink away from those kinds of expressions of anger.

Anger has its place in our lives, and it is a good thing that God has given it to us. However, like all good gifts, we tend to use them for the wrong purposes or in the wrong circumstances. Besides that, we sometimes find ourselves having a low anger threshold, which means that we get angry at the slightest provocation and our reaction is not often proportionate to the situation.

Anger can help us become aware of when we are under threat, whether emotionally or physically. You can find yourself feeling angry in a situation without exactly knowing why. But on further reflection, you realize that you were angry because someone perhaps denigrated you or in some way threatened your well-being.

Perhaps someone made a joke at your expense, and you felt angry and a little bit uncomfortable, but you didn’t quite know why. One reason you might have been feeling angry is that your inherent dignity as a being made in God’s image was threatened by the dig that the person made at you.

What this means is that anger has a purpose and a function in our lives. It helps us to be more aware of our situations and what we are experiencing around us. Anger is a little bit like your check engine light which tells you that there might be something wrong and you might need to pause and think about what that might be.

It can alert us to danger or threats to our survival. Anger can also provoke you to act when you witness or experience some form of injustice. In that way, it is a good impetus to be proactive in remedying a situation.

Anger in the right situations is appropriate and it can be a beautiful expression of our God-given ability to care about the world around us and to be moved to rectify a wrong. The trick is for us to learn to express our anger in ways that are not destructive but godly, respecting not only ourselves but others.

Anger that is expressed well can promote well-being and wholeness. Anger that is expressed crudely and thoughtlessly can be destructive, leading us away from the righteous life that God desires for human beings (James 1:19-20).

Anger can be a serious problem

Having said the above, we cannot be naïve to how problematic anger can be. There are far too many incidents of road rage, violent altercations, domestic abuse, and destructive passive-aggressive behavior to believe that anger can’t be problematic. How can you tell if your anger has passed from the healthy emotion that God intended to function for your good and the good of others, and that it has become a harmful caricature?

Below are some of the key signs you can be on the lookout for that may indicate that you have anger issues and need to reconsider how you approach and express your anger.

Key signs of anger issues

Some of the signs that you have anger issues are:

You are a danger to yourself and others when you’re angry

Healthy expressions of anger don’t endanger others or make them feel like they’re under threat. If your anger issues in verbal threats, physical violence (or the threat of it), and it leads you to cause damage to persons, pets, or property, then your anger is out of control and needs to be reined in.

You don’t know how to resolve your anger well

Anger is an emotion that triggers your fight or flight response, which floods your body with hormones that prepare you for action. The result of this is that your body wants to do something, and you have this pent-up energy that needs to go somewhere. Anger ought to be expressed, as opposed to suppressed or repressed.

Some people may even get to the point of being afraid of their anger and of what they may do when angry, leading them to keep it bottled up. That isn’t a healthy or constructive way to handle your anger. Anger needs to be expressed well. If you feel anger but either don’t know what to do with it, or you don’t know how to articulate it healthily, you may have anger issues.

You are (nearly) constantly angry

There are big and little things that aggravate us and get under our skin. There’s so much that can anger us if we have a low anger threshold and allow it to. Sometimes, you must let the little things slide, or just gently nip them in the bud.

Some people are angered by just about everything, from their kids, spouse, neighbors, lawn, workplace, colleagues, the state of the economy, politicians, how their favorite sports team played that weekend, the weather, traffic, the line at the checkout, the service they received when grabbing their coffee that morning, and so much more.

However, there is more to life than the things that anger you, but if you’re blind to that, and if the dominant emotion in your life is anger, then you may have a problem with anger.

Your anger has landed you in trouble

Anger can lead to rash actions, and some of those rash actions may be illegal or the law frowns upon them. Whether you’ve assaulted someone, damaged property, or made inappropriate statements, if your anger has led you into trouble with the law, then you should consider addressing the issue.

You feel like your anger has a hold on you

There is a Biblical proverb that says, “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32, NIV). Being in full possession of yourself means that you don’t get overtaken by circumstances, and you’re not reactive.

Your emotions shouldn’t lead you by the nose; you should have them under control. If you feel like anger is this force or thing in your life that you can’t tame and keep in check, it may be a sign of anger issues.

Your anger has bred regrets and brokenness

When your anger is under control, you can express it in ways that don’t damage you or others. Importantly, that means that you don’t damage or lose your relationships, either. Two Biblical proverbs speak to this:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger – Proverbs 15:1, NIV

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel – Proverbs 15:18, NIV

These proverbs distill wisdom from experience, and that experience tells us that when we come in hot during a conversation, that just tends to inflame tempers further and makes the situation spiral out of control. Instead, exercising patience and watching what we say helps us calm things down and resolve conflict better. If your anger has led you to say and do things that have damaged relationships or left other regrets in your wake, perhaps your anger is out of control.

Dealing with anger issues

Our loved ones can clue us in on whether we may need help. If your loved ones or trusted circle have told you that you’re angry and that you might need help for it, take them seriously. It’s a good sign that there is something wrong. Remedying serious signs of anger issues requires not only addressing lifestyle issues but thinking patterns and any underlying health issues.

Anger issues may be a response to stress or symptomatic of a deeper problem like depression or bipolar disorder. If you go to a doctor or a mental health professional for a checkup and diagnosis, they can help you by eliminating any physical and mental health causes that may be at the root of your anger. Stress can be dealt with through lifestyle changes such as better planning, good sleep, or exercise.

Signs of anger issues can also be addressed through anger management counseling, which can happen individually with a counselor, or in a group setting. Your counselor will equip you to discern unhelpful thought and behavior patterns that might be contributing to your anger, helping you to develop tools to overcome your anger and learn to express it constructively.

You can learn skills such as good listening and how to calm yourself in a tough situation. If your anger is out of control, seek help and reach out to a counselor today.