Four Ways to Help Your Marriage Get Back on the Right Path

How do you view your marriage? Is it full of hope and joy or does it feel like something is lacking? Does it seem like everyone else has a better, more loving spouse? It’s possible that you judge the quality of your relationship based on that of your closest friends, given that they seem to have it all together.

Or perhaps there are moments when the two of you feel more like you are in a commercial partnership than you are in an intimate relationship. Short exchanges about transactional details of life can make things seem distant.

• Can you drive the kids to school? Yeah.
• What should we have for supper? Leftovers.
• Do we have the funds to cover this expense? Nope.
• Can you get milk while you’re at the store? Sure.

When this happens, at some point in time, you decided to stop sharing personal and sensitive information with others. Either you stopped making the time to talk to each other and listen to one other during those talks, or life got in the way.

When you look at your relationship now and compare it to what you anticipated it would look like when you and your spouse got together, you may find that it does not stack up the way you thought it was supposed to.

Is now too late for your marriage?

In the context of providing counseling for couples, this question comes up frequently. When you reach a moment where it almost feels as if the love is gone, when there are no more butterflies in your stomach, and the honeymoon phase has long since passed, it can be natural to question if something is wrong. Without warm, loving feelings, it can be easy to assume that something is wrong.

Every couple in a committed relationship will have times when they either don’t feel as connected to one another as they once did or just don’t feel as though they are on the same page anymore. If both partners are devoted to the relationship, then once these patterns are noticed, you will be able to actively guide yourselves back on track. This is only possible if both partners are committed to the partnership.

The following are some of the methods that you can make it happen:

1. Regular date nights. The common understanding is as follows: It is more likely that you will feel more connected to your partner on a more consistent basis if you have date evenings regularly.

On the other hand, there is somewhat more to it than that.

Date nights aren’t particularly productive if you spend the entire time staring at your phones, only talking about your children, or repeating the same activities over and over again. The best way to counteract this is to establish the ground rules. Some ideas include no phones out, answering only for the babysitter, and no talking to the children.

Consider the time you spend together on date evenings as an opportunity to daydream. Make sure you ask your spouse questions to which you don’t know the answers. Reminisce. Set some goals, agree to hold each other accountable for achieving them, and motivate one another to broaden your perspective beyond the day-to-day reality you face.

You decide the rules for dating your spouse. Date nights can be date days, such as attending a birthday celebration together or spending the day at a friend’s house while the kids are at school. It might be as easy as going for a stroll around the neighborhood. After the children have gone to bed, you can enjoy a decadent home-cooked meal or dessert in peace.

Let go of the expectation that your relationship ought to be like the most recent romantic comedy you watched. Focus on establishing connections while maintaining a straightforward approach that works for you and your spouse.

2. Change your marriage routine.

Altering the status quo is the single most reliable method for fostering connection. When we break out of our routine and do something that is not typical for us, our brains automatically begin to reengage. It frees our minds from the rut of operating on autopilot and makes room for creative thought.

What does this imply for your partnership going forward? Even seemingly insignificant alterations can have a significant impact.

For instance, if you get a babysitter during the week instead of on the weekend, it might completely alter the flow of the rest of your week. You can give yourself a physical challenge and help spark new interests by becoming a member of a club that engages in active pursuits.

Help one another remember to take care of themselves. Should you turn off the television when you go to bed each night and instead spend time playing games, reading, working out, or spending time with friends a few times each week? Do you feel the desire to turn in early tonight? Does your partner?

Again, changing your habits to reduce the stressors of everyday life can help you and your partner feel re-engaged, understood, heard, and connected in ways that may surprise you.

3. Drench the grass in water.

If you find yourself wondering if the grass is greener somewhere else, you should carefully examine how you are participating in your current relationship. Are you still harboring resentments from the events of the past?

Are other aspects of your life causing you stress, and are you putting that tension onto your partner? Are you effectively conveying your requirements and preferences to others? Is your significant other able to get a glimpse of the real you?

When we look at other people’s romantic partnerships and evaluate them in light of our own, we frequently find ourselves experiencing uncomfortable sentiments. We may be particularly susceptible to this kind of attack on social media. However, it’s easy to forget that even the strongest relationships require time, energy, and work. This is easy to forget.

Therefore, rather than concentrating that energy on what other people have or do not have, pay attention to what is within your control to alter. If you want to feel more fulfilled within your relationship and let go of certain unhealthy habits at the same time, you should permit yourself to invest additional time and energy into your marriage and yourself if that is what it takes to feel more fulfilled.

In that case, take a look at your surroundings and ask yourself what you can do to get back in sync with your partner. What kind of things can you do to make your relationship stronger and encourage its development?

4. Regularly seek the advice of a marriage counselor.

Many married couples would benefit from intensive marriage counseling during times of extreme stress, followed by counseling sessions spaced further apart over time, to keep them on track and accountable. The length of time spent in counseling can range from a single session to many years as a type of maintenance for the relationship being worked on.

Marriage counseling is more cost-effective than going through a difficult divorce in the long run. Certainly, it is possible to get into sticky situations, but wouldn’t you rather have an expert leading the way in those situations?

It’s okay if things aren’t completely broken before you seek professional assistance for your relationship. Counseling is something that could be helpful for any relationship, regardless of how long they’ve been together or how recently they’ve started dating.

At any point in time, a relationship may experience difficulties; nevertheless, couples counseling can assist you and your partner in developing abilities rather than harboring animosity. Contact us and speak to a counselor today.