The bunny squealed in terror as he fought to break loose from the thorns, but the more he wiggled the more entangled he became. From his point of view, there was no way to escape. He was trapped in a mesh of spikey sticks and vines.
The fear of being stuck there forever was more unbearable than the physical pain he felt from being cut and poked. The panicked shrieking quietly slowed to a stop as the bunny went still. Hope was quickly leaving him feeling numb and alone. He could see no way out.
Walking nearby the thorny patch, a woman stopped to listen to the terrified screams. Concerned, she stepped off the path and into the meadow. Following the sound, she came to the tangled mess of thorns. Leaning in for a closer look, she discovered the now silent bunny. Quickly she began tearing away at the branches and vines clearing a path for the terrified rabbit.
Although this story is simple, it pictures how many of us feel at some point in our life. Trapped. Afraid. Hopeless. Numb. Alone. Pain. Are these words that you can resonate with? If so, then you are ready for life coaching. A life coach can help you transform your perspective. Let’s explain what we mean by transforming. The Apostle Paul writes:
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way that you think.
Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. – Romans 12:2
“Transform” means to make a dramatic and thorough change. Perspective is a point of view. Many of our perspectives are taken from our personal experiences but may not always be entirely accurate.
We can view someone sulking in a corner rather than participating in the group discussion. We would conclude that the person is angry and withdrawn, but the reality could be that the person is having a horrible migraine and can’t handle the commotion.
Perspectives are limited to our own experiences. The Bible encourages us to broaden our perspectives and if necessary change them. If they’re not accurate, they can promote dangerous belief systems that will entangle us, keeping us from the freedom found in truth. Sadly, many don’t want to make that change.
Coaches believe that every person has the answer deep within themselves. Their job is to ask the right questions to help you dig deep, but I also believe that sometimes we need someone to give an outside perspective to clear the way toward freedom. This is especially true for those who have experienced psychological abuse and spiritual abuse.
They may struggle to find the answers within themselves because they’ve been made to question their decision-making abilities. It’s important to find a coach that will ask questions but also isn’t afraid to give clear advice and perspective. Coaches will also help you define your goals and your values. Once those goals are set in place, the clearing of the thorns begins. The thorns are obstacles that will hinder you from forward motion.
Looking at your childhood and past traumas is extremely important. These can shape our beliefs about God, the world, and ourselves. Actions stem from belief systems. The bunny believed that he couldn’t get out, therefore, he stopped trying. That’s what many of us do. We stop fighting for ourselves because we’ve come to believe that we’re not worth it and that there’s no way to overcome it. Once a failure always a failure.
But it isn’t true. Discovering what you believe and how you came to believe it will help to begin untangling the thorns. A coach then can offer an outside perspective on events and also share the truth to combat the lies that we’ve come to believe because of the trauma. So often these belief systems will attack our identity which keeps us floundering and seeking approval from others.It’s also important to acknowledge the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. If we are to successfully transform our minds, we must have truth. Truth is found in God. You may believe that your feelings toward God are just fine.
You believe in who He is and what the pastor may say about him, but the reality is that trauma has a way of casting doubt on God’s character and promises. Through the help of the Holy Spirit, a coach can uncover those hidden doubts and bring them to light.
What comes next is what I consider the fun part of life coaching for both coach and client alike – reclaiming identity! From doing fun personality tests to discovering what you value in life, a coach then can direct you to pursue other careers and revitalize your dreams.
You may discover that the side of you you’re trying to silence is the gifting that will bring joy and fulfillment. Once you’ve been reintroduced to yourself, then the dreaming can begin. When the dreams have been written out, then the coach can help you create a path to fulfillment. Dreams don’t have to stay dreams, they can become reality.
I must warn though that coaching is not for the faint of heart. It’s for people who genuinely are at the place in their life that they will put forth the effort to improve their situation. With coaching, expect homework. There may be self-improvement books to read, questionnaires to fill out, and lots of accountability. This is all to help assist you toward the goals that you want to achieve and to do it quickly. Expect pushback and to be challenged.
Watch sports coaches. Sometimes they’re compassionate, inspirational, and when the situation demands it, they’ll be tough, but it’s all for the good of the individual and the team. Coaches will push their players to be the best version of themselves.
So it should be with life coaching. While life coaches won’t make you drop and give them twenty, they should give feedback and challenge beliefs and expectations that may be holding you down. They should push you to do more than you think that you are able.
My coaching comes with a lot of compassion and grace, but if a client sits too long on an obstacle then the “prodding stick” comes out and I challenge them. We will do rapid-fire popcorn questions that don’t allow for overthinking or making excuses. It often works and the client gains a new perspective of themselves and how they feel.
Life coaching also needs to be consistent. The more consistently a client shows up, the more ground can be covered. If the sessions are sporadic, then it’s much harder for accountability. As stated before, life coaching is for people who are determined to make the changes necessary to improve their lives and to humbly receive loving pushback.
Those who have remained faithful to the process have had great success. Those who don’t follow the steps and the pathway out remain caught in the thistles. Coaching can’t change your situation, only you have the power to do that. Coaching can cut away the thorns and create a pathway out, but it is up to you to jump onto the path that leads to freedom.
If you are ready to make some changes, then I’m ready to help tear away the thorns and create a pathway for you. Contact me soon, don’t delay!
“Rabbit”, Courtesy of Waranya Mooldee, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Rabbit”, Courtesy of William Daigneault, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Change”, Courtesy of Ross Findon, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Coach and Team”, Courtesy of Adrià Crehuet Cano, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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