Raising Kind Kids: Teaching Confidence, Character, and Compassion

One of the beautiful aspects of parenthood is the opportunity to see oneself in the next generation. Children, whether birth or adopted, emerge with a set of qualities all their own. Yet, they also bear the influence of the home environment fostered by the parents who raise them. However, raising kids can be challenging.

Mothers and fathers have a primary stake in regulating the influences that impact our young ones. As God-appointed caretakers, we both savor the privilege and safeguard the responsibility to train our children in the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

Through the example of our relationship with our Loving Father, we teach our children to reverence or honor God as good and Sovereign. In doing so, they learn to respond to His Fatherhood, friendship, and faithfulness as they watch and learn from us.

Our young ones come with no manual outside of the Word of God. Interestingly enough, we who believe follow the same handbook to gather insight into our own lives. The Bible is rich with story and theme to enlighten our path with spiritual truth to equip us for practical, yet abundant living.

Confidence, character, and compassion in raising kids

While it seems unlikely that one can learn kindness, it is possible. We need only look again at Scripture, reminded that the Holy Spirit is the Teacher who lives within. Jesus promised us a Helper and Comforter. His Spirit leads us into all Truth, causing spiritual fruit to develop and mature in our lives (John 14:26; Galatians 5:22-23). Like any garden, our lives need tending amid threats to our fruitfulness.

We don’t have to be afraid of parenting with godly wisdom. God has good plans for us and our children. We can partner with Him to stir up gifts and release His goodness through intentional acts and expressions of love and service.

We mirror the natural extension of the Father’s love when we joyfully offer our time and talents, not only to our children but also in fellowship with them. As parents, we promote confidence, support character development, and instill compassion in our children when we collectively follow the Holy Spirit’s lead to do justice, that is, making right what is wrong in the spheres we have influence.

He has told you, mortal one, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God? – Micah 6:8, NASB2020

Do justice

While our lives are beautified by the Holy Spirit, the world we live in can be cruel and vicious. We observe and experience the prickly fruit that this fallen world has to offer. Our lives are not exempt from the selfishness and greed that we encounter in various spaces, whether online or in person.

Whether we have initiated, participated, or been on the receiving end of avarice, unkind treatment does not reflect the Father’s Heart. We want to buffer our children from social ills while teaching them to reflect our values.

We might wonder how to do that. Beginning with the Holy Spirit, we embrace Christ’s forgiveness and learn to follow His ways. His grace allows for opportunities to foster our character and flex our compassion muscle, as He leads. Similarly, our example instructs our children. They learn as we introduce them to a personal relationship with Christ, inviting the Holy Spirit to govern and guide them from their youth.

Our kids are differently gifted, but all can offer compassion. Their unique personalities may want to extend mercy to our family members, neighbors, faith community, and total strangers. They may want to do justice, impacting the world’s wrongs in ways that align with how God made them.

For example, one child may be inclined to create homemade cards to distribute at a nursing care center, another might want to bake and take a snack to an infirmed neighbor, while yet another may want to galvanize community support for a toy or clothing drive. Whatever the gift, our children may have burning ideas to improve their world. We can stoke those flames by providing an outlet for them to bring their ideas to fruition.

Sometimes, our children may express disinterest in showing kindness in the typical ways one might imagine. We can think outside the box, as most children have a curious bent about something, even if it bewilders us as parents.

We can build on that interest, and help them grow their confidence and nurture their creativity, compassion, and character as they develop ideas on how to extend that natural enthusiasm concerning their unique talent. As we nurture our children’s competence, we can help them to maximize their abilities to serve God and the world with their gifts.

Raising kids and loving kindness

We might not realize how partnering with God reflects the Father’s love in the earth through our particular families. Sometimes, we don’t know what compassion and character can look like in a cruel world where we want to protect ourselves from vulnerability and risk. The answer is embedded within, conveying that we release mercy to all people everywhere, just as the Father has extended it to us.

Interacting with others whose needs are different from ours blesses us and enables us to put the love of Christ into action so that others can feel and experience the “hands and feet” of Jesus. Kindness shows itself in the ways that we are transformed as we continually submit our lives and become more like Jesus (Romans 8:29).

As we grow in grace and with God, we develop confidence in belonging to the Lord. This dependence on Him seeds godly character traits or what the Bible calls the fruit of the Spirit. These nine characteristics originate with and from love, permeating how we regard, speak, and interact with our children.

Love is of God, and all of the other traits identify how He and His love manifest in how we parent them. Kindness is one of the nine, and it is key to expressing God’s Heart of mercy, compassion, and generosity to others.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23, ESV

Walk humbly

Each person’s decision to submit their lives to Jesus is an individual choice. However, until our children understand the nature of Christ’s sacrifice and the weightiness of their own sin, we can model what it looks like to live transformed by God’s kindness.

When we are generous, compassionate, and merciful, we demonstrate that in our homes. An old saying states that “charity (or love) begins at home, then spreads abroad.” While it is not a scripture, it reflects the Word’s Truth as a matter of both principle and practice.

When we realize that we have been forgiven, sin – the greatest debt – cannot hold us captive in its unkind and self-seeking way. The mercy of God has covered us and exacted justice against our enemy, forever punishing him for his role in inciting sin, error, and rebellion first in heaven and later on earth.

God in His mercy and kindness, demonstrates this just payment as He works in us. Walking in humility, aligned with our true identity as sons and daughters, is possible because of the Holy Spirit residing in us. We can extend that to our children as we raise them to love the Father of Mercy who loves them, too.

When we foster healthy identity and confidence in our children, we teach them how to embrace what God made. Coming alongside them to develop capacity champions what God placed inside. Mistakes and all, our compassion and kindness permit them to learn and keep growing in character and confidence.

Even when they do what we dislike, they evolve as we correct out of love, mirroring God’s Fatherly Heart. No matter where we or our children are in our journeys, God retains the patience and confidence that together we will fulfill His designed purpose for the family of humanity.

Next steps in raising kids

As you seek to raise kind kids, think about what you need as a parent. Use the resources on this site to gather information to select and schedule with a counselor. You and your family will be met with empathy and support. Reach out today. Gather the next steps to help you raise kind kids and shape the confidence, character, and compassion of the next generation.