The Loneliness Cure

In the simplest terms, loneliness can be defined as being alone and feeling it. Sometimes the loneliness itself feels like an unshakeable companion. Other times, it’s the ache that settles in when you scroll through photos of smiling groups of people on social media and wonder, “Where do I belong?” And sometimes it can poke at your heart when you’re in the middle of a crowd of people, and make you feel as if you don’t have any genuine connections in the group.

We’ve all felt alone, sometimes even in that crowd of people. And the funny thing about loneliness is that it is a private burden. It’s a heavy secret that we carry in a world that tells us we aren’t worthy unless we have ten billion followers and a certain number of likes. Loneliness begets loneliness and it feeds on itself like an invasive species. When we fail to tell others about our feelings of isolation, we create a cycle that makes those feelings of isolation grow.

But what if we challenged your thinking on the topic? What if we told you that loneliness isn’t just a burden? It can actually be a blessing. Have you ever thought that loneliness could be an invitation to something greater? We can tell you that it is, and here’s why.

The Ache of Being Human

You were created by God for connection. Not in a superficial way, but in a deep soul-knitting, help me move this refrigerator kind of way. You were created for authentic relationships, the kinds of connections where you’re not afraid to show the messy, complicated parts of your life and love others through theirs. The kinds of friends who will help you move or let you win at Uno.

Genesis tells us that it’s not good for man to be alone, and this truth echoes through every fiber of our being, even in our modern, sometimes isolating world. We’re wired to thrive in the context of community, to give and receive love, and to be seen, heard, and known.

However, life in all its busyness and brokenness pulls us away from these things. Our corrupt human existence turned the Garden of Eden from a place of unity into a place where Adam and Eve began to feel their human insecurities and where social walls began to form.

Modern life, in all its shiny and digital glory, has complicated and exasperated this loneliness and seemingly intrinsic desire to build fences even more. We’ve traded village living for cubicles and screens. Schedules are packed with activities, but our hearts are often left feeling quite empty even if we appear to be “social”, and in the noise of contemporary life, loneliness still whispers damning lies in your ear telling you that you don’t belong or that you’re not enough.

The Lies of Loneliness

Here’s something loneliness doesn’t want you to know. It’s a liar. It tells you that you’re lonely because you’re unworthy or because no one understands you, or wants to try. Not only is it a liar, but it is like the movie reel, stuck on a loop. It whispers in your ear relentless reminders of the trauma you’ve experienced, the mistrust you have in other people, and the awkwardness you displayed at the dinner party last year.

But the truth is that loneliness isn’t about your worth. It doesn’t stem from whether you’re good enough or attractive enough or if you are a business success. It’s about a disconnection from others, from yourself, and often, from God. When we lose touch with others we miss out on the comfort of community.

When we are estranged from ourselves, due to trauma or insecurity or a host of other possible causes, we lose sight of the purpose in our life. And when we drift away from God, we will feel the disconnection from the life-giving power and peace that only He can offer.

What can we do?

So, what’s the cure? I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not pretending you’re okay when you’re not. It’s not filling your calendar with activities to distract yourself. And it’s definitely not numbing the ache with drugs, alcohol, sexual prowess, and mindless scrolling or binge-watching TV.

Loneliness, as painful as it is, can also be a catalyst for profound growth and positive change. Yay, loneliness! It’s an opportunity to reflect on your needs, desires, and values. Maybe this lonely feeling is nudging you to evaluate the quality of your relationships or calling you to seek deeper connections rather than settling for shallow ones. Loneliness can teach us how to be intentional, to value presence over performance, and to seek substance over superficiality.

The nagging pangs of involuntary solitude may just be the spark that lights a new interest in pursuing God. The Lord is ever-present and ready to hear your lonely cries, and comfort your aching heart. He also helps you walk through obstacles and guides you into meaningful human relationships.

Loneliness also reminds us of our shared humanity. In a world where everyone seems to be curating their happiest moments online, it’s easy to feel like an outlier. Yet, behind those curated smiles and perfect posts, many are fighting their own battles with isolation. By being brave enough to acknowledge and address your loneliness, you are not only helping yourself, but you may also inspire others to do the same.

Finding Support: Christian Counseling in Spokane Valley

Loneliness isn’t a sign that something’s wrong with you. It’s a sign that you’re human. And being human means that we need each other. In the stillness of our loneliness, we are given the rare opportunity to recognize the ache not as a negative, but as a diving invitation. And at its core, it is often a reflection of a yearning for a connection that goes beyond human relationships. It’s our soul’s way of whispering that something is missing: a connection with God.

In the stillness, we can come to view our loneliness not as a negative, but as a diving invitation. And at its core, it is often a reflection of a yearning for a connection that goes beyond human relationships. It’s our soul’s way of telling us that something is missing: a connection with God.

If you’re feeling the ache of loneliness, know this, you’re not alone in your loneliness and there’s always hope. Hope in God and the healing connection of community can make a profound impact on your life and turn your social circumstances and mental and emotional attitude around.

Lack of companionship can impact your emotional well-being. Your feelings of loneliness might seem as if they stem from a lack of friendship or relationships, but it just might be a symptom of another issue, such as low self-esteem, anger, or destructive behavior.

If you feel like you need a little more support or if your loneliness could be a symptom of a larger issue, I encourage you to meet with me or another professional Christian therapist in Spokane Valley. Contact us today at Spokane Valley Christian Counseling to make an appointment with one of the Christian therapists in Spokane Valley.