Getting Old: How to Age Successfully

In the JRR Tolkien classic The Hobbit, there is a scene in which our hero, one Bilbo Baggins, is lost in the dark exchanging riddles with Gollum, who intends violence and wouldn’t hesitate to harm Bilbo. These riddles are a matter of life and death: if Bilbo wins this contest of wits, then Gollum has to show him the way out of the tunnel; if Bilbo loses, however, he becomes Gollum’s dinner.

In this high-stakes exchange, one of the riddles that Gollum poses for Bilbo goes something like this:

This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.

If you haven’t read the book or watched the movies, you may be scratching your head wondering what the answer to this riddle could be. You can just imagine standing in Bilbo’s place, struggling to find the answer with a threat hanging over your life. The answer to the riddle, in case you’re wondering, is Time.

All of us are subject to time and its ravages. We can look back on our lives wistfully, remembering the days when certain things came easily to us, and when it seemed as if our bodies weren’t trying to sabotage us or fall apart at every turn. As we get older, that can affect every aspect of our lives, sometimes in negative ways. It’s good to know how to negotiate getting older successfully to maintain a healthy outlook on life.

What old age does to us

Getting older is a natural process that we all go through. Some of the changes are mild and mostly aesthetic, such as the fact that our hair becomes gray as we get older, or it begins to get thin. Other changes are more drastic and significant, such as the fact that our senses start to decline, our bodies become frailer and more susceptible to disease, and we don’t bounce back from injuries as quickly.

At a biological level, what happens to us as we age is that we accumulate cellular and molecular damage over time, and this damage in turn leads to a gradual decrease in our physical and mental capacities. Aging means we experience a growing risk of disease, and ultimately aging results in death.

Other changes that occur include changes in our bones and muscles. Getting older brings about lower bone density, which weakens them and means they are more prone to fracture. Our bones also tend to shrink in size, which often results in older people becoming shorter. Another effect of getting older is that one’s muscles lose strength, flexibility, and endurance, which impacts one’s ability to maintain good balance and remain well-coordinated.

In addition to the above-mentioned changes, there are other changes affecting areas such as your thinking and memory skills, your digestive system, your cardiovascular system, sexual performance, and needs, as well as your skin, eyes, ears, teeth, and changes in your weight. What this amounts to is that as you age, your body changes in drastic and at times uncomfortable ways, which can make your own body seem foreign to you.

Challenges associated with getting old

Given what old age does to us physiologically and otherwise, it’s to be expected that getting older will come with challenges. It’s the same with other stages of life, such as adolescence, or when one begins truly living as an adult. Change can be challenging, especially if you start experiencing changes after decades of things being a certain way. Some of the challenges that are associated with getting old include the following:

Poor health

As noted earlier, getting older means that our bodies don’t function as well as they used to. One’s health becomes something to keep a closer eye on the older one gets, as declining health becomes a daily reality.

Escalating health care costs

As health issues become a feature of everyday life, that brings escalating health costs to manage doctor’s visits and various treatments to manage everything from minor ailments to chronic conditions.

Lack of income and diminishing capacity to create income

Being older can also mean diminishing opportunities to generate income. After retirement, finding new work can become difficult, and having the resources to keep up with one’s costs can be challenging.

Loss of loved ones

Another of the harsh realities of getting older is that as life goes on, one tends to lose more and more loved ones. From the beloved family pet to one’s friends, spouse, siblings, parents, and neighbors, the march of time leaves nothing untouched. Getting old often means contending with grief and loss as a regular occurrence.

Loneliness

The loss of loved ones as well as changes including loss of mobility means that it’s possible to yearn for connection with others and to struggle to find it. Loneliness and isolation are huge challenges for seniors, and they can have many negative consequences for mental and emotional health.

Vulnerability

As you get older, things like your memory suffer a bit. Also, as technology continues its rapid advance, the world can get increasingly complicated to navigate. An unfortunate reality of getting older is becoming more vulnerable, and without adequate support, one is vulnerable to issues such as elder abuse and financial scams specifically targeted at seniors.

Being viewed as a liability

Each family and subculture that makes up these United States is unique, and there are varying degrees of support, honor, and care extended to seniors. However, it’s broadly true to say that there’s something of a bias against aging and the elderly, and one is often seen as a liability rather than an asset in old age.

Loss of independence

Getting older may make things like driving, walking to the grocery store, or being out and about alone more difficult. Cataracts and other vision problems, issues with mobility and memory – these and other concerns can make it harder to live independently, and it can be challenging to depend on others when your entire adult life has been spent learning how to be independent in healthy ways.

Fear of mortality

Lastly, as we get older, we become more aware of our own mortality. In the worst cases, one can become anxious and develop existential anxiety about death and what comes afterward.

These and other challenges can attend getting old. However, there are ways to alleviate these challenges so that getting old isn’t something to be dreaded, but something that can be managed reasonably well to maintain well-being and a sense of joy about life in this new stage.

Defining what successful aging looks like

Aging and getting old is an inevitable process. However, even with the inevitable, how you approach it makes a difference. Not only that, but it’s also important to recognize that our journeys into old age don’t all look the same. There is a wide range of experiences that mark old age, meaning that it’s hard to talk about a typical old person.

For instance, some 80-year-olds have a physical and mental capacity that’s comparable to many 30-year-olds, while some older people experience a significant decline in their capacities and faculties at a much younger age. This then raises the question of what is meant by aging successfully. How would one define what it means to “age successfully”?

Some would define aging successfully as not looking, acting, or feeling as old as you are. In other words, aging successfully would look and feel like not aging at all! That’s not entirely realistic, and it likely leans into certain prejudices against getting older, as well as an unwillingness to embrace this stage of life and everything that often comes with it.

Perhaps aging successfully can be looked at as a more fluid concept that will apply differently to people in various situations. It can, however, include facets such as having healthy ways to cope with existing or impending illnesses, and this includes having an adequate support system. Aging successfully is about finding meaning and joy in everyday life, which is what life at any stage of life is about.

How to age successfully

Aging successfully is about being able to adapt well to the changes that come our way because of aging. To age successfully requires a person to make use of resources such as social support to be able to experience everyday joys.

These adaptations can be implemented preventively, but also in a corrective fashion once certain challenges are encountered. Taking measures such as exercising regularly, eating a healthy and balanced diet, sleeping well, spending time with loved ones, keeping your mind engaged through reading or hobbies, regular check-ups, using sunscreen outdoors, or wearing earplugs around heavy machinery can help in preventing damage and promoting health.

Additionally, successful aging also requires developing resilience, a positive attitude, and a hopeful outlook on life to cope with daily challenges. Finding contentment, meaning and a sense of belonging doesn’t require the perfect environment or circumstances. If you can find ways to engage in the things you enjoy with people whose company you enjoy, that is a solid part of what it means to age successfully.

One of the support systems you can make use of to promote successful aging is making use of professional counseling. A counselor can help you with insight into what matters most to you, and they can help you leverage the resources you have to make the most of your life. A counselor can also help you identify and replace any unhelpful thoughts that undermine your well-being. Contact us today to set up your first appointment.