Unintended Effects of Pornography

A Case of Curiosity That Went Wrong

Several years ago, while working in a prosecutor’s office, one of the prosecutors shared with me an ill-advised case of curiosity. Three pre-adolescent boys decided to place a bicycle on the train tracks. They believed that the train would flatten the bicycle. When the train ran over the bicycle, the bicycle caused the entire train to derail.

The boys did not realize that the train was transporting Chrysler cars directly from the factory. Because of strict liability tort laws, a Chrysler senior Vice President had to come down from the Detroit headquarters to supervise personally the destruction of all the Chrysler cars. The cost of Chrysler cars alone would be valued at 2.8 million dollars in today’s dollars. All this damage came from a single bicycle and three misguided young men.

Likewise, for many, pornography starts as a curiosity for young boys. Like the example above, the consequences are not intended to be harmful. Yet, one decision can make a significant impact on the rest of their lives.

Viewers of pornography might think to him or herself: “It is no big deal, No one will ever know, I watch it just once, or I can stop any time.” As you will discover below, viewing pornography often leads to some quite significant, unintended consequences.

The truth will always come out, and its use is usually discovered. Since discovery is worse than careful and deliberate disclosure, it often leads to further erosion of trust. On the one hand, a person may see pornography, be appalled by it, and never return to it. On the other hand, pornography also can progress into a full-fledged problem.

Case Study

To illustrate how pornography progresses into a full-fledged problem, allow me to present the case study of Theodore Robert Cowell. Cowell discovered soft-core pornography in grocery stores (CNA Staff, 2017). Gradually, he progressed to more hardcore and violent types of pornography (CNA Staff).

Many years later, while reflecting on his life, Cowell stated, “Like an addiction, you keep craving something harder, which gives you a greater sense of excitement, until you reach a point where the pornography only goes so far” (Id.). Sadly, Cowell would later embark on a twenty-year journey of sexual assault, sadistic mutilation, and murder of over thirty young women (Kirk, 1989).

While in prison, Cowell would give an interview to give his mindset as a criminal. He stated, “I’ve lived in prison for a long time now, and I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me, and without exception, every one of them was deeply involved with pornography. Without question, without exception, deeply influenced and consumed by addiction to pornography” (CNA Staff, 2017).

Although causation is difficult to prove, a 1986 United States Attorney General report on thirty-six serial killers found that twenty-nine of them had a strong sexual interest in pornography (Kirk, 1989). One more thing, when his stepfather adopted Cowell, Cowell’s last name became Bundy (Ted Bundy; Biography.com Editors & Piccotti, 2024).

Hypotheticals

Pornography normally does not cause individuals to become criminals like Ted Bundy. Its influence is more subtle, but its destruction can obliterate social, relational, psychological, and physiological domains of a person’s life.

Griffin and Wolt (2024) argue that pornography use can impact relationships between romantic partners, the sexual functioning of the pornography user, connection with others, and the psychological well-being of the user and others. Like substance users, people who struggle with pornography can hide in plain sight.

Pornography affects the well-known businessman who has been married for over thirty years and has raised seven children. He is active in his community, attends church weekly, and participates in civic activities. As an adolescent, the businessman viewed provocative advertisements on television of women selling lingerie. Still an adolescent, he moved to softcore pornography late at night while everyone was asleep.

Early in his career, the businessman stopped at an adult bookstore to buy a hardcore pornographic video. When pornography became available on the internet, he explored various websites online. One day, the businessman realized that he had a problem when he noticed a prostitute on a street corner and had the repulsive thought of having sex with her.

At that moment, he decided to seek counseling and disclose his problem to his wife. Disclosure of a problem to a spouse does not preclude divorce. Regardless of the outcome, however, his hurt spouse will probably require counseling to address her shock and feelings of betrayal from her husband’s disclosure.

Pornography affects the father of four whose wife kicked him out. For eleven years, this father struggled with pornography. Initially, his wife had been patient as her husband battled his compulsive behavior toward pornography.

However, she grew tired of her husband’s behavior. During the divorce settlement, the court awarded primary custody to his wife and limited him to supervised visits eight hours a week. As a result, this father had limited contact with his children as they grew up.

Pornography affects the twenty-year-old man who began watching pornography as a teenager. As time progressed, this young man began to watch more violent types of pornography. While in college, he dated a young lady from his co-ed dormitory. When they decided to consummate their relationship, the young man acted out what he thought was normal sexuality.

Humiliated, the young woman becomes physically and emotionally traumatized from the experience. When the woman eventually marries another man, she is now reluctant to be physically intimate with her husband.

Pornography affects the forty-five-year-old husband who quit pornography six years before marrying his wife. Even though he quit, the husband struggles with physiological issues from engaging in frequent solo sexual activities while viewing pornography. Although the wife is understanding, this issue contributes to the couple’s overall relational dissatisfaction.

Pornography affects a sixty-five-year-old single man. He indulged in pornography at an early age. In his early adult years, this man noticed classmates going on dates with other people and getting married. Pornography limited his ability to learn social skills and how to interact with others.

He became embittered because he perceived that no one liked him. The man could not offer something that he did not have: the ability to connect. The man did not disclose that what he needed from a potential partner was what the late Sue Johnson (2008) refers to as a “safe harbor” to feel safe, to be vulnerable, and to be protected.

You have probably noticed that men were used in all the examples above. It was not by accident. According to Griffin and Wolt (2024), about 80% of pornography users are men. However, the rate of women viewing pornography has steadily increased in recent years (Griffin & Wolt).

Conclusion

From a spiritual perspective, sexual immorality, particularly pornography, is a serious sin in the sight of God. The apostle Paul states, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” (I Corinthians 6:18-20, NIV).

The psalmist states that only the wicked man pretends like God does not notice his sins (Psalm 10:11). The apostle John states that “All wrongdoing is sin.” (I John 5:18a, NIV). It does not matter whether a sin was committed once or a hundred times. Sin is still sin. Unfortunately, repetition of sexual immorality can cause God to turn that person “over to a depraved mind” (Romans 1:28, NIV).

Are you intensely preoccupied with sexual fantasies and behaviors that are causing you psychological stress? Are you unable to control intense, sexual impulses or urges that result in repetitive sexual behaviors in your life? Is your use of pornography causing significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, or other important areas of functioning in your life?

Do you feel that your use of pornography is inconsistent with your moral, spiritual, and religious values? At Spokane Christian Counseling, we are here to assist individuals who want to leave the world of pornography.